Inconsequential Reflections

I sit here writing these words, for what? For whom? Does anyone ever really write or talk for themselves? Do we not say things out loud just to see how other people are going to react to them? If a person reacts positively, then we will continue on, expounding further on the subject. If, however, a negative emotion is evoked, there is confusion, embarrassment, a sense of failure or of not belonging. We make it out to be a joke. I was just kidding guys. Don't take me seriously. Why should we be embarrassed by our own thoughts, feelings, or "lifestyle" choices? Everyone is fucking crazy; there is no such thing as normal. Consciousness is a great and terrifying thing. It's responsible for some of the greatest and some of the most destructive things ever accomplished by humanity. In a relatively short amount of time, we have come further than people could have ever imagined. And yet, where are we? Where have we really come to? Is this the end of something or the beginning? Or is it just a middle part that in a matter of centuries or even decades will be unimportant? Is this all something or is it nothing? Where did we get off track? Or are we on the right track and just can't see it right now? We are told that apathy does not being about change, but is apathy not shaping the way things are headed now? In that sense, did apathy play no role in changing how we see the world around us and react or not react to it? Is it time to speak up, or is this the time to remain quiet, a benchwarmer? Everyone wants everything, and they want it now. What is now? Now as in a few seconds from this moment or now as in during this lifetime? Or is now a completely misconstrued concept? Did it not take people decades, centuries, and several lifetimes to accomplish some of the greatest feats ever attempted by man? The pyramids were not built in a day. Rome was not built in a day. The Great Wall of China's construction spanned over several emperor's reigns, did it not? The race to the moon in that sense, took almost no time at all. Do we live in a society that has grown into a here and now place? Or was it our impatience as human beings that led us to creating a society for ourselves so that we might enjoy the perks of instant gratification? Is instant gratification a bad thing necessarily? Or is it simply something that happened along the way? Is this the way we were headed anyway? Or have we completely fucked ourselves on a cosmic scale? Is there a God? Are there two gods? Competing gods perhaps, who are simply playing a game with us? One rules the Earth beneath me, the other another planet across the Universe? Do they have meetings to discuss what's going on with each of their private worlds? What do they see as improvements to society? Was it the plan for us to forget them and forge ahead on our own, just to see what happens? Or does none of it even matter? Does none of it make sense to us because there is no rationale? Are we simply the products of millennia of evolution and survival of the fittest? When we die, do we simply rot in the ground, making the ground above us more fertile, continuing this never-ending cycle of perpetual unhappiness and death? Are we plugged back into it all as something else? Do we start over and over and over? Or do we get to meet our creator or creators? What then? Eternal happiness? Or are we forced to worship some being we forgot existed for the rest of eternity? But what is eternity? How can anything really continue on forever? What is forever? This planet will die out, our sun will explode and fade away, as is the fate of all stars. The universe continues to expand, but expand into what? Will we hit a wall, a wall of nothingness, or will we roundup and head back to the middle, to the beginning? Perhaps the Big Bang sent everything flying out into "space" and created a monstrous black hole that will eventually suck us all back in. Is that the end? Or will we be transported into another sphere, another time, another place? Will it be just like what we have now? Or will it be completely different?